Heart Attack
by eudyptulaminor
Summary: John is convinced that Rodney has been taken over by an alien entity. Slash CBRM


A/N: This is for my sister since I killed Carson and Rodney in the last one I wrote. "A pure piece of fluff," she says.

"Rodney, would you just eat," said John.

"What? Oh, food's done. Excellent."

"Alright, who is she?" John asked as Rodney finally started his meal.

"What are you talking about?"

"You have a sappy look on your face. You're distracted, and dare I say it, you are not as annoying as normal. Who is she?"

"There is no she," answered Rodney.

"Why don't I believe that? Radek tells me that you haven't yelled at your staff in over a week, even when Kavanagh purposefully made a mistake just to rile you up yesterday."

"It wasn't that big of a deal, it wasn't on a primary system or something that was life or death."

"I think we should go back and let Dr. Beckett examine him," Teyla said now a little worried.

"Could we at least finish dinner?" asked Ronon.

"After dinner we're heading back so Carson can make sure that you haven't been taken over by some alien life force," John said.

"I'm fine. I haven't been taken over by anything. There is nothing wrong with me."

"I have to disagree. You are not acting like yourself," commented Teyla.

"Carson is just going to tell you the same thing I'm telling you now. There is nothing wrong with me."

"If you had been possessed by an alien entity, you wouldn't know it. Lets just see what the good doctor has to say," said John.

"There's nothing wrong with him," Carson said several hours later.

"What? That can't be possible," proclaimed John.

"He is in perfect Rodney health," Carson answered.

"Rodney health? I have a health?"

Carson just rolled his eyes. "Ye are in the exact same health state that ye left in. Except you lost a pound somewhere."

"It was probably going up that hill," Rodney answered. He turned to his teammates, "Now do you believe me?"

"Something is going on with you," John said. "And I intend to find out."

"Rodney, I know you're in there! Open up!" John shouted at Rodney's closed door. "Fine, I'm coming in!" John opened the door to find no Rodney and a bed that hadn't been slept in for quite a while. "Damnit. Rodney, where are you?" asked John on his headset.

"What is it, Colonel? I was asleep," answered an annoyed and sleepy Rodney.

"We need you in the control room right away. There's a science team stuck in one of the outer science labs."

"Why couldn't you get Radek to take care of that?"

"He's going to get Carson before heading down there. What was that noise?" asked John as he heard a door chime in the background.

"Nothing, I'll be right there," Rodney abruptly said before disconnecting the connection.

John just shook his head and hurried to beat Rodney to the control room, which he did by about a minute.

After the crisis was averted, John tried to corner Rodney on where he was sleeping since it sure as hell wasn't his own room. Rodney seemed to sense that John wanted to talk to him about something besides work and made himself scarce after they got the doors open and the scientists were in the infirmary. Finding nothing better to do and not in the least tired, John decided to make a trip to the infirmary to see how everyone was.

"Colonel, do you have a moment?" asked Radek.

"Sure. What can I do for you?"

"What would you do if I were to tell you I know the reason why Rodney has been acting strangely over the past month," the Czech asked.

"I would have to ask how you know and why," John said leaning a little closer so he wouldn't miss a thing.

Radek looked around. "This is not the place to be discussing this." Radek then grabbed John's arm and dragged him down the hall to one of the storage closets.

"Who is it?" asked John.

"Why do you ask who?"

"I went to his quarters earlier to look for him and he wasn't there. Yet when I paged him, he said he was sleeping."

Radek nodded. "I know where he was sleeping."

"Where?"

Radek opened his mouth to answer when the door opened to reveal Carson on the other side. "I'm sure either of your quarters would be more comfortable for this," he said with a smirk.

"It is not what you think," Radek protested.

"I don't really care what you lads get up to in your own time, but you left before I could check out that cut," the doctor said to Radek.

John looked over at the scientist and noticed that his shoulder had a rather nasty gash on it. "Talk to you tomorrow?" John asked as he slipped past Carson into the hall. Radek nodded and followed Carson back towards the infirmary trying to escape Carson's wrath for leaving. John had only gotten five feet down the hall when he spotted Rodney coming towards him. "Rodney, do you have a second?"

Rodney looked past him at the retreating figures of Carson and Radek and nodded. "What can I do for you?"

"Where were you when I paged you earlier?" John asked, cutting straight to the point.

"Asleep in my bed. Why does it matter?"

"Are you sure it was your bed?"

"What sort of question is that? How could I not be sure?"

"Well, there was that one time you woke up in Cadman's bed," John answered with a smile.

"Okay, that was so not my fault. I fell asleep in my bed. She was the one that took us there."

"I'm just asking since I know you weren't in your bed when I paged you."

Rodney got a questioning look on his face. "How could you know that?"

"Since I paged you when I was standing in your empty quarters."

Rodney's eyes widened. "I uh," he stammered.

"Still going to say there is no girl?" asked John.

"Yes," was the short answer. "I have to get going," Rodney said as he continued his walk down the hallway.

"Rodney, this conversation isn't over!" John shouted after him. Rodney just walked faster.

It was two days before John caught up to Radek again. It turned out that the gash on his shoulder had gotten infected and he had to stay in the infirmary for a few days. When he got out, John treated him to lunch. "So, you were saying you knew where Rodney was."

Radek nodded over his coffee. "Ah, I missed this. Carson would not let me have any."

"So, where was he?"

Radek was about to answer when Rodney sat down next to him. "I see Carson let you escape. Good. The idiots have been even more idiotic lately."

Radek rolled his eyes. "You do realize I will only have one hand for a few weeks more," he said as he gestured to the sling.

Rodney waved his hand. "Doesn't matter, you'll still be able to do more work than everyone else combined."

Radek looked over at John. "We must write this down. I think Rodney just paid me a compliment."

"I told you he was possessed," retorted John.

"I thought we had been over this, I am not possessed by an alien entity!"

"No, you are just being possessed by Carson on a nightly basis," retorted Radek. John spewed the coffee he was drinking all over the table while Rodney looked over at his friend in shock.

"Thank you, Colonel. Now my breakfast will taste like coffee."

"That's where he was?" asked John. Radek nodded.

"Who told you?" asked Rodney.

"No one. A few days ago, when I went to collect Carson so he could attend to any injuries that might have occurred, I saw your jacket hanging from one of the chairs."

"How did you know I didn't leave it in there from earlier?" asked Rodney, still not denying it, John noted.

Radek nodded. "I didn't think anything of it at first, but when Carson answered the door, he was still getting dressed and I saw bite marks on his shoulder. I also heard your voice just before he answered."

Rodney just sat there. He didn't even notice when Carson sat down across from him. "What did you do to him?" he asked.

"Nothing," answered Radek with an innocent look on his face.

"Carson!" Rodney exclaimed when he realized his lover was sitting across from him.

"Rodney," Carson answered a little slowly, still not sure what was going on.

"So, Carson," started John.

"Yes?"

"Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Not that I know of," replied the doctor, not looking at Rodney.

"Great. Then what do you say to a double date?"

"What?" both Carson and Rodney said at the same time.

"Well, why not? You're single and I know these two girls who would be more than willing."

"I never said I was single," retorted Carson.

"Really? How come you haven't spread the good news? There are quite a few lovely ladies who are just getting up the courage to ask you out," John said with a semi evil glint in his eyes, which only Radek caught on to since Rodney was busy glaring at him and Carson was trying to think of a way out of this.

"I've always kept my private life private," he finally answered. "And I don't see how it's any of your business."

"You're my friend. Friend's tell each other who they are dating." Carson glanced over at Rodney, who was busy mutilating his food. John lowered his voice, "It would also have been good to know to call you first if anything happened to him."

Carson quickly looked over at John. "Ye knew!"

"Radek found out when he came by the other night," muttered Rodney.

"How long?" asked John.

"A year," answered Carson.

"A year! Then why has Rodney only been starting to act strangely within the past month?" asked John. Carson shook his head and went back to his breakfast. "Rodney?"

Rodney mumbled something that they didn't quite catch. "I'm sorry, what was that?" asked Radek.

"It was about that time I realized I loved him," he just about shouted, causing the neighboring tables to fall silent.

Carson looked up with a weird look in his eyes. "Are ye serious?" he asked.

Rodney nodded. "It took me a while to realize what exactly I was feeling. When I did, I didn't tell you because I knew there was no possible way you could feel the same way, but I didn't want to loose the best thing that had ever happened to me."

"You daft idiot," whispered Carson as he stood up and went over to Rodney. "How could ye possibly think I didn't love ye?" he asked as he pulled him up and attached their lips together. They were oblivious to the catcalls and cheers around them.

"Are you serious?" Rodney asked this time.

Carson nodded. "As a heart attack. Move in with me. Permanently."

Rodney nodded. "Most of my things are there anyways."

"So, no alien entity?" asked John.

"No alien entity, just love."

A/N: My muse has decided to leave me, and I still need an idea for the fourth part of my Base Pairs Series. If you have any ideas, I would love to hear them! If you have no clue what I'm talking about, then you could either head over to my profile page and find the stories there or my website. Or just ignore this... Hugs and Kisses ;)


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